A Jared Leto Yakuza Netflix Movie??? There's No Way The Outsider Is Terrible!

The Outsider

Director - Martin Zandvliet

Writer - Andrew Baldwin

Cast - Jared Leto, Tadanobu Asano, Shiori Kutsuna, Min Tanaka, Kippei Shiina

It takes a total of 10 minutes before a characters commits (or more accurately, stages committing) harakiri in The Outsider, a journey into the heart of the Yakuza shortly after the destruction of World War II and our guide is Jared Leto. Following in the sacred footsteps of brave white men like Tom Cruise (The Last Samurai) and Sir Daniel Day-Lewis (The Last of the Mohicans), Jared Leto boldly plays a White man assimilating himself almost perfectly into a non-white culture. Of course, Cruise and Day-Lewis are mere amateurs compared to the method acting genius of Mr. Leto (or Leto-san because you gotta respect the craft). Who else would mail used condoms to his costars as an act of getting into character, wear blacked-out contact lenses to truly experience blindness, wax his entire body to win an Oscar for playing a woman or eat melted ice cream with olive oil and soy sauce so as to gain the necessary weight for a film literally nobody saw. Jared Leto is the truest thespian of our times.

Netflix Original #14: The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)

Director - Noah Baumbach

Writer - Noah Baumbach

Starring - Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson, Elizabeth Marvel, Grace Van Patten

"If he isn't a great artist that means he's just a prick."

Admit it, you saw this as a new Adam Sandler Netflix film and just decided to skip it. Well it is a new Noah Baumbach (Frances Ha, Mistress America, The Squid and the Whale) film and Adam Sandler is just along for the ride. Once in a blue moon Sandler puts on his acting pants and finds a director who knows how to use him and channels his comedic tendencies into actual quality. The gold standard of this is Paul Thomas Anderson's Punch-Drunk Love in which Sandler's rage is run through a filter of pure love and the desperate need to be with Emily Watson. Noah Baumbach uses that rage to punctuate Danny Meyerowitz's simmering anger that mostly stems from his relationship with his father Harold (Hoffman). Needless to say, this is good Adam Sandler.

Netflix Original #13 - First They Killed My Father

First They Killed My Father

Director - Angelina Jolie

Writers - Loung Ung and Angelina Jolie

Starring - Sareum Srey Moch, Phoeung Kompheak, Sveng Socheata

Ladies and gentlemen, Anthony Dod Mantle. The MVP of this film is the cinematographer, Anthony Dod Mantle. Not only is the best looking film Netflix has released, it is one of the best looking films of the year. Dod Mantle imbues this story of a family's struggles to survive after the Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia with a Malickian sense of serene grace. Dod Mantle, best known for his work on films such as Slumdog Millionaire, Rush, 127 Hours, and 28 Days Later, displays soulful qualities here not present in his previous work. The Ung family, in particular, Loung (Srey Moch) is filmed almost with angelic auras surrounding them. This is incredibly effective at showcasing the sharp contrast between Luong's childlike innocence and the bloody rule of the Khmer Rouge. It is a shame that Jolie cannot quite turn these images into the arresting film the story demands.

Netflix Original #12 - Death Note

Death Note

Director - Adam Wingard

Writers - Charles Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides and Jeremy Slater

Starring - Nat Wolff, Margaret Qually, LaKeith Stanfield, Shea Whigham, Willem Dafoe

Adam Wingard's Death Note is a fantasy-vigilante story, a teen drama mystery, a wacky horror comedy, a semi-generic detective crime thriller and a coming-of-age drama. Needless to say it isn't any good. We'll get to breaking down the individual elements but first it feels necessary to address the thing seemingly dominating conversation about this movie, the white-washing. Yes, this is an adaptation of a Japanese manga/anime series and it has been transported to Seattle and now stars the very generic looking white boy Nat Wolff. I'm not familiar at all with the original material and have no bone to pick in this fight but if Wingard had kept the story in Japan and cast a Japanese actor in the role of Light Turner, the only difference would have been a possibly competent leading performance. With an inept star, a confused script and mostly generic direction Death Note is the latest misfire from Netflix.

Netflix Original #11 - Win It All

Win It All

Director - Joe Swanberg

Writers - Joe Swanberg and Jake Johnson

Starring - Jake Johnson, Aislinn Derbez, Joe Lo Truglio, Keegan-Michael Key

Win It All follows several months in the life of gambling addict Eddie Garrett (Johnson) from prolific mumblecore director Joe Swanberg. This is almost certainly the most conventional movie of Swanberg's career, retaining very little from his microbudget largely improvisational films. Win It All fits comfortably in with the more dramatic "Sundance Indies" eschewing the artificial quirks of it's contemporaries in favour of streamlined character development and storytelling.

Netflix Original #10 - The Incredible Jessica James

The Incredible Jessica James

Director - Jim Strouse

Writer - Jim Strouse

Starring - Jessica Williams, Chris O'Dowd, LaKeith Stanfield, Noel Wells

"I really like you."

"Yeah Boone, of course you do, everybody does, I'm frickin' dope"

This film exists for one reason and one reason only; to showcase the star power and comedic abilities of former Daily Show correspondent Jessica Williams. Following in the footsteps of Steve Carell, Ed Helms, Rob Corddry and the rest of the illustrious alumni from The Daily Show, Jessica Williams makes her bid for advancing her career as The Incredible Jessica James. On this level the movie works phenomenally well. Williams is a magnetic presence holding this feathery-light romcom together and trying her best to elevate it with the help of a strong supporting cast.

Netflix Original #9 - Deidra and Laney Rob a Train

Deidra and Laney Rob a Train

Director - Sydney Freeman

Writer - Shelby Farrell

Starring - Ashleigh Murray, Rachel Crow, Tim Blake Nelson, Sasheer Zamata, David Sullivan, Danielle Nicolet

"Shut up. You rob trains too so you need to stop whining."

Programming Note: This is not a "new" Netflix release. This has been on Netflix since March. If you've never heard of it, you weren't missing much.

Deidra and Laney is very similar to Rick Famuyiwa's 2015 film Dope. A black A-level high student is thrust into a life of crime that threatens their grades and way of life and goes to desperate lengths to come out of the whole ordeal successful while the film leans heavily on influences ranging from Wes Anderson to Quentin Tarantino to Spike Lee and ends up commenting on the societal influences leading black youth into the world of crime anchored by a terrific leading performance from an essentially unknown actor. The difference between Dope and Deidra and Laney is in the execution. While Dope is exhilarating breaking free of its influences to create one of the most memorable film experiences of the last few years (the Rewind Cue contains more style and substance than most movies have in their entire running time) Deidra and Laney uses the influences as crutches, propping up a mediocre story before ultimately settling into a mode than can best be described as Disney live-action children's film.

Netflix Original #8 - To the Bone

To the Bone

Director - Marti Noxon

Writer - Marti Noxon

Starring - Lily Collins, Keanu Reeves, Carrie Preston, Lili Taylor, Alex Sharp

"I'm sorry that I'm not a person anymore, I'm a problem."

To the Bone attempts a hard study of eating disorders in (primarily) young women receiving treatment at a group home. It is based on writer-director Marti Noxon's own experiences and largely feels true to life. At other times is feels contrived and quirky in ways that seem like Noxon didn't have the confidence to fully portray a down-to-earth story and instead felt the need to make it "movie-like". It should not be a surprise to say that all of these embellishments fail to be anywhere nearly as effective as the more low-key study on eating disorders and their effects not only on those suffering from them but their families as well.

Netflix Original #7 - Okja

Okja

Director - Bong Joon-ho

Writers - Bong Joon-ho and Jon Ronson

Starring - Ahn Seo-hyun, Tilda Swinton, Jake Gyllenhaal, Paul Dano, Giancarlo Esposito, Shirley Henderson

He's probably not going to get it but Jake Gyllenhaal deserves some Oscar love for this movie. He fully commits to an absolutely bonkers performance as Dr. Johnny Wilcox, the TV zoologist and face of the Mirando Corporation. He's so great as the sniveling, slimy, creepy, odd personality and then manages to pull a complete 180 when the cameras switch on and he becomes a professional, fun, outgoing TV personality. Gyllenhaal is at his best when playing characters that exist so far from reality (see Nightcrawler) and Okja gives him a perfect chance to display his talents.

Netflix Original #6 - Shimmer Lake

Shimmer Lake

Director - Oren Uziel

Writer - Oren Uziel

Starring - Benjamin Walker, Rainn Wilson, Adam Pally, Rob Corddry, Ron Livingston, Wyatt Russell, John Michael Higgins, Stephanie Sigman

"If I ate your mommy's breakfast I'd end up a fat fucking bastard like everyone else in this town."

Schurmann Score - 8/10

Fifth Paragraph: In which Kyle concludes his review

Shimmer Lake is a film that is shot and plotted as a crime thriller but acted and written as a comedy. It is a tough dynamic to pull off but it largely succeeds. Anchored by a strong cast and some great use of reverse chronology, Oren Uziel's directorial debut is the best Netflix original movie to date that is sure to reward multiple rewatches.

Netflix Original #5 - War Machine

War Machine

Director - David Michod

Writer - David Michod

Starring - Brad Pitt, Anthony Michael Hall, Topher Grace, John Magaro, Emory Cohen, Scoot McNairy

"It's considered, in our culture, a very bad thing to fuck your own mother."

Netflix invested $60 million in this movie. They went out and got a megastar for it. They have promoted the shit out of it, especially compared to the previous movies I've reviewed here. It's got a killer premise: satirical look at the failures of the War in Afghanistan focused on a general stubbornly attempting to make the US plan work. It's got a great cast. In addition to the above names the following people make appearances; Ben Kingsley, Tilda Swinton, Will Poulter, Keith Stanfield, RJ Cyler, Meg Tilly and Josh Stewart. I think you can guess the overall quality of the this film merely by the way I listed all these facts.

Netflix Original #4 - Mindhorn

Mindhorn

Director - Sean Foley

Writers - Julian Barratt and Simon Farnaby

Starring - Julian Barratt, Essie Davis, Andrea Riseborough, Simon Farnaby, Steve Coogan

"Shoes going on. Shoes on."

Hot Fuzz, Bojack Horseman, The Grinder

Those are the three great comedic achievements that I was reminded of while watching Mindhorn. In this film a washed up actor living the delusional bubble of acclaim about his terrible show that ended 25 years ago (Bojack Horseman) about a fictional police detective gets a call to action to help the real police solve a real crime (The Grinder) in a small British community wherein the scope of the crime is eventually revealed to be far greater than anybody imagined through a generally comedic investigation headed by an outsider to the community (Hot Fuzz). I would love to tell you that Mindhorn lives up to the expectations created by that mess of a sentence because a movie that manages to blend those different threads together would basically be my favourite movie of all time but this one falls well short.

Netflix Original #3 - Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie

Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie

Director - Jeff Garlin

Writers - Jeff Garlin and Andrea Seigel

Starring - Jeff Garlin, Natasha Lyonne, Christine Woods, Timm Sharp, Steven Weber

"You see this guy here, sure but is that the whole story, I mean how do we know this guy doesn't work at a rental car place near the airport, alright, and it's his boss's last day, maybe that guy's name is Roger, Roger loves to golf so he and all his coworkers dress up like Roger, golfers, and you know what Roger always wanted to do, skydivings, so they all get in a car, go over to the airstrip and they get in a skydivings place, they get up to 20000 feet and they get into an argument, maybe it's about a girl, maybe it's about who had the right recipe for a veggie chili, we don't know the answer to that yet, but then an argument breaks out, this guy gets strangled, he gets thrown out of the skydivings place, guess where he lands, of all places, golf course, case closed."

Jeff Garlin considers himself so ugly that the only way he can get people to call him handsome is to write, direct and star in a movie in which his character is literally named "Handsome." You'd think a guy who hangs out with Larry David would have a better self-image. In Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie Garlin plays a homicide detective investigating the murder of his new neighbor's babysitter with the help his partner Det. Scozzari (Lyonne). Ostensibly this is a comedic detective story but the humour is so bland and predictable and the direction so inert and lifeless that it comes across as the longest, most boring pilot for next fall's new hour long detective show on CBS that nobody you know watches.

Netflix Original #2 - Casting JonBenet

Casting JonBenet

Director - Kitty Green

"There maybe could be something that could come out of this that could help"

JonBenet Ramsey. The 6 year old beauty pageant contestant who's murder late Christmas evening/early Boxing Day morning in 1996 became a national media sensation due to the various elements of the crime. The ransom note, the discovery of the body, the method of death and the unknown killer all contributed to headlines garnered by this case.

Netflix Original #1 - Small Crimes

Small Crimes

Director - Evan Katz
Writers - Evan Katz and Macon Blair

Cast - Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Robert Forster, Jacki Weaver, Gary Cole, Molly Parker

"I payed my time. I just want everything to stay in the past."

Our entry into the world of Small Crimes is a pull out focusing on Joe Denton (Coster-Waldau) mid-conversation with a priest discussing the trials and tribulations of his life. He is a former cop being released from prison after a 6 year stint for attempted murder absentmindedly playing with his latest chip from AA. The priest offers Joe communion but he refuses it, taking his sins with him into the world.