Theatrical Experience: Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

Director - Ol Parker

Writers - Ol Parker, Richard Curtis and Catherine Johnson

Starring - Amanda Seyfried, Lily James, Pierce Brosnan, Christine Baranski, Julie Walters, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard, Dominic Cooper, Cher

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again is The Godfather Part II to Mamma Mia's original Godfather. Boom. That's called a hook right there. Comparing the ABBA karaoke musicals to two of the most revered movies ever made. Boom. You're hooked. You need to keep reading to see how I justify it. Well, let me let you in on a little secret, it's all razzle dazzle, much like the outfits in this film.

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again and The Godfather Part II are both simultaneously sequels and prequels to their predecessors. They use their structure to draw parallels between the main parental figurehead's life and how they got their station in the first film and the direction of their adult child's life after the events of the first film. The Godfather Part II explored Vito Corleone's violent rise to power in the criminal underworld as he became the titular Godfather while showing Michael's continued descent into the criminal life after assuming leadership as the end of The Godfather. Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again explored Donna's (James) post-graduation dreams as she travels to the Greek island of Kalokairi while having whirlwind romantic encounters with the three men who would go on to share paternity of Sophie by the end of Mamma Mia while Sophie (Seyfried) attempts to honour her mother's memory by reopening the Bella Donna Hotel on the same Greek island.

An Incomplete List of Stupid Things From Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

It's Colin Trevorrow's world and we're just living in it

It's no surprise that the newest mega budget dinosaur action blockbuster is a very stupid movie. It's the fifth movie in the Jurassic franchise and the fourth consecutive stupid entry. If you were expecting this movie, wherein the heroes of the Jurassic World get back together to go to an island that is literally exploding due to volcanic activity to save the dinosaurs, to be a smart, nuanced tale that expertly explores scientific methods, environmental protectionism and activism then you may be a direct relative of Colin Trevorrow (hello Colin's mom! I love your son's work, I sincerely mean that). Maybe you expected a reasonable, entertaining popcorn movie; well did you see the first Jurassic World? It was a fucking trainwreck of a film. And did you see The Book of Henry? That's the most special movie in the whole wide world.

Well I figured a movie of this magnitude couldn't possibly be covered by a normal review. It's such an avalanche of hilarious, stupid shit that trying to talk about it a normal, coherent manner is all but impossible. A word of warning though: I will not be holding back, there will be spoilers.

A Jared Leto Yakuza Netflix Movie??? There's No Way The Outsider Is Terrible!

The Outsider

Director - Martin Zandvliet

Writer - Andrew Baldwin

Cast - Jared Leto, Tadanobu Asano, Shiori Kutsuna, Min Tanaka, Kippei Shiina

It takes a total of 10 minutes before a characters commits (or more accurately, stages committing) harakiri in The Outsider, a journey into the heart of the Yakuza shortly after the destruction of World War II and our guide is Jared Leto. Following in the sacred footsteps of brave white men like Tom Cruise (The Last Samurai) and Sir Daniel Day-Lewis (The Last of the Mohicans), Jared Leto boldly plays a White man assimilating himself almost perfectly into a non-white culture. Of course, Cruise and Day-Lewis are mere amateurs compared to the method acting genius of Mr. Leto (or Leto-san because you gotta respect the craft). Who else would mail used condoms to his costars as an act of getting into character, wear blacked-out contact lenses to truly experience blindness, wax his entire body to win an Oscar for playing a woman or eat melted ice cream with olive oil and soy sauce so as to gain the necessary weight for a film literally nobody saw. Jared Leto is the truest thespian of our times.