Showing posts with label Cressida Bonas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cressida Bonas. Show all posts

Friday, 2 March 2018

2017 Schurmys - The Worst Awards

2017 Schurmann Film Awards

The Worst of 2017

The Book of Henry
Welcome to the bottom of the barrel. The place where Colin Trevorrow makes twee family drama-brain cancer-vigilante murder films. The place where the director of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy just forgets to film half his movie and forces Scorsese's editor to try and make something of existing footage revolving around a character named Harry Hole. The place where Charlize Theron and Jarvier Bardem sexily brush their teeth at each other amidst random African genocides. This is the place where Will Smith waxes poetically about the status of fairy lives. These are the worst movies I saw from 2017. While I went out of my way to see some truly horrific trainwrecks I did not subject myself to shit like Transformers: Oh God Why Is King Arthur In This or Pirates of Caribbean: Johnny Depp Doesn't Want to Learn His Lines so consider this section to be less complete than the others.